Forgiveness
by Tim Chester on Jan.02, 2011, under Discipling
A lack of forgiveness is a common problem in disadvantaged areas. It affects not only individuals, but spreads through communities. The closeness of family and community ties in some estates presents great opportunities for the gospel when someone is converted. But those close ties can also spread hatred when someone is wronged. A lack of forgiveness also often inhibits change in other areas. One pastor says ‘forgiveness has brought up a whole load of issues in my context’.
This pastor takes a strong, black and white approach, often saying: ‘If you don’t want to forgive people, that’s okay, but you can’t say you follow Jesus’. A willingness to forgive is portrayed as the touchstone of a genuine experience of divine forgiveness (Matthew 6:14-15). He finds it impossible to pastor in other areas of people’s lives until they have at least shown the desire to forgive. But a willingness to forgive does mean forgiveness is easy. One believer who was horrifically abused for years knows she needs to forgive her abuser and wants to do so, but finds this very hard, sometimes seemingly impossibly hard. But she is asking Jesus for strength to forgive.
Forgiveness is a relational concept that involves reconciliation after repentance. God does not forgive us until we have repented (though in his grace he grants repentance so uniquely in God a willingness to forgive leads inexorably to forgiveness). So it may not always be helpful to ask someone whether they forgive another person. Without repentance and reconciliation, forgiveness remains an abstract idea. It can only be a ‘willingness to forgive’ and that can be hard to measure in the absence of repentance. So it may be more helpful to ask someone whether they love another person, not in the sense of feeling affection for them, but in the sense of wanting the best for them. And a test of this may be how they pray for them.
