Reaching the UnreachedAn annual conference for churches trying to reach out in the hard places of our land

It’s a big issue anywhere, but I reckon helping people deal with conflict has got to be up there as one of the big issues for discipleship on council estates. Anger, violence, harsh words, lack of self-control has got to be one of the most destructive sins we see again amongst friends and family. Of course, on the other hand, I don’t want to suggest that middle class self-control and ‘restraint’ is any more godly. We’re not talking about polite passive-aggression as any solution!

Firstly, let’s think about conflict amongst Christians. Surely, resolving conflict peaceably has got to be one of the key counter-cultural elements of the church community. This is a key way in which we are different from the world. How do we do it?Turning to the New Testament it seems to me that being “in Christ” changes everything about how we deal with one another. This is the starting point for how Paul views other believers e.g. Rom 16:2, 3, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11b, 12, 22. When there’s conflict in Corinth, what does Paul ask Euodia and Syntyche to do? they are “to agree with each other in the Lord” (Phil 4:2). Not just get on with each other, but to submit their conflict to their both “being in Christ”. This is the framework or atmosphere in which we are to view each other as Christians, and how we are to view conflict with one another. What implications does this have?

1. I cannot distance myself from you as if you are a thing or an object because we are united in Christ. Whatever issue divides us, it is smaller than Christ.
2. When I look at you I must remember that I am dealing with a member of Christ, yes even Christ himself. When I wound/lie to/manipulate/rage at/hate you, I am doing all these things to the body of Christ.
3. All Christ’s promises are as true for you as they are for me.
4. The Cross saves you as much as it saves me.
5. When I speak truth, righteousness and goodness, I am honouring Christ in you.
6. When I am cowardly before you or avoid confronting your sin I dishonour Christ in you.

The point is: being in Christ does not mean that we stop having conflict or diasgreeing with one another. It does not mean that we avoid open and truthful discussion. Nor does it mean that visible, immediate harmony is the ultimate goal. But, rather, it means that we handle these issues in a unique way amongst ourselves. We remember that we are “in Christ” right now and that sets the parameters for how we deal with the conflict. Look here for an excellent article on creating healthy peace within the church community.